Thursday, February 25, 2016

Bryan Robinson Does a 2-Minute Pitch for LIMESTONE GUMPTION!

(on phone) 
Listen Scorsese, you cross me again and 
you'll can kiss your grandchildren goodbye! 
(slams down phone!)

Are you done with Joe Scorsese and Sons, Boss?

Yes, damn it! My Jacuzzi still doesn't bubble right 
and he'd going to get it to work or I'm not 
carpooling his grandkids any morel!!

Sure, sure. 
You have a Mr. Robinson waiting.

OK. Let him cool his heels out there
for ten minutes so he knows how busy I am...
Oh!  Hello you must be Mr. Robinson.
What can I do for you? 
Well, I have this book...
A bookie? 
No, a book. 
Crap, I thought you were my bookie with 
that trifecta payout from Santa Anita. 
All right, bright boy. dazzle me and
I'll make you a star. What's it called? 
Limestone Gumption
Well, That's one strike. 
Names like that went out  with the Beverly Hillbillies
Nevermind, how did you come up with the idea?
For many years, I had a vacation home in north central Florida on the Suwannee River. Divers come from all over the world to explore the primeval underwater caves, some of which are as tall as ten-story buildings, wide as three football fields carved for thousands of years by the Suwannee rushing through limestone that yields to the Suwannee’s force. At night, river dwellers sit around campfires on the river’s sandy shores telling stories of lost divers drowning in the twisted, turning under water caves that stretch miles beneath the earth; cavers running out of air and knifing their partner to steal a last breath from his tanks. Tales of corpses wrapped in tangled guidelines, entombed like mummies with their arms tightly pinned against their stiff bodies. Stories of bodies so bloated that rescue teams have to pry them out of narrow passageways. Listening to these tales around a campfire, shadows dancing like ghosts against the white sand, I remember thinking, “I have to write about this.”

Hummm. Interesting. 
We could fake it all at Weeki Wachee Springs.
Are there any mermaids?
Ah, no. 
We'll write some in later. Tell me your Teaser Pitch. 

When Dr. Brad  Pope returns to his boyhood hometown to settle a debt with his long lost father, the 35-year old psychologist becomes a prime murder suspect of accomplished cave diver, Jake Nunn. Pope’s hopes of proving his innocence and reconnecting with his cantankerous Grandma Gigi are hindered by the surprise and horror surrounding his father’s whereabouts and sinister secrets of the Women’s Preservation Club, founded by Grandma Gigi—whom Brad expects to jabber about preparing Sunday’s church bulletin or the next bake sale but starts to look more like a cold-blooded killer than a church lady. Reminiscent of The Help and Fried Green Tomatoes, the movie would be cast as follows:
Dr. Brad Pope: Ryan Gosling
Grandma Gigi: Lily Tomlin
Voodoo Sally: Octavia Spencer
Myrtle Badger: Beth Grant
Director: Del Shores

Wait a damn minute. 
I cast the movie and I see Gosling in the lead with Lily Tomlin. 
Damn, I'm a genius. 
Who is this hero? 
This Brad Porpoise or whatever and how does he change? 

Dr. Brad Pope morphs from a city boy to small town boy again as he embraces his roots. In doing so, he discovers his “limestone gumption”—his inner strength to overcome all obstacles, especially the family demons from his boyhood: discovering where his daddy is, developing a relationship with his Grandma, proving his innocence, figuring out what happened to his dead mother and sister and the role local medicine woman, Voodoo Sally, played in his family life when he was young.

 Voodoo is great box office hoodoo. 
I'm liking this. Why the title? 

Limestone Gumption is a metaphor for when Pope—after being accused of cutting the guideline of a popular local cave diver who drowns—must call upon his limestone gumption to deal with overwhelming obstacles. For centuries, the Suwannee River cut through limestone forming huge under water caverns. The limestone yields to the force of the river instead of resisting it. Through yielding, the limestone becomes a powerful feature of the river, a beautiful and smooth, well-polished cavern and the strength of its true character is revealed.

I'm telling you, Lily Tomlin in a wet-suit could be a problem 
Ah, we'll use digital CG. What's the Logline?

They say “You can’t go home again,” but when celebrity psychologist, Dr. Brad Pope, returns to Whitecross, Florida, he finds the banks of the Suwannee River brimming with mystery and murder—and he himself a suspect. Solving the crime uncovers a heady mix of family secrets and local corruption that ultimately prove a healing potion for Brad, a man who grieves his tortured childhood.

Tortured Childhoods are big right now.
 I think Barnes and Noble is opening a ]section for TC books.
OK, time for the rubber to hit the road. 
Why should I, the Rich and Handsome Book Mogul, but this book

Because it will keep you on the edge of your seat and just when you’re reaching for another piece of key lime pie, it'll slap you upside the head with the outrageous antics of Grandma Gigi and her Sisterfriends—Southern women who know how to take care of business—and you fall out of your seat laughing!

Oh, I love it. On the floor covered in key lime pie!
Yes, boss. 
Cut a check for a million simoleons 
and give this man one of those "special" contracts
You mean the ones signed in blood?
Yeah. This is going to be BIG! BIG! BIG!

                                       A BRAD POPE AND SISTERFRIENDS MYSTERY
Based on the novel by Bryan E. Robinson
Copyright 2014, Hardback; 2016 Trade Paperback

Buy at Amazon

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